Home > Bible, Elisha Bald, Humor, Proverbs, Wife Proverbs > Some Sorta Funny Stuff

Some Sorta Funny Stuff

November 2, 2015 Leave a comment Go to comments

It’s not often I burst out laughing when reading the Bible, but in my daily Bible study the other morning I did.

I was reading through the book of Job, where three of Job’s “friends” had just finished telling him the reason he’d lost his family, his belongings, and his health was because he’d sinned against God. Their speeches had been lofty, couched in flowery, poetic language and, evidently, Job had been patiently listening to them for hours, even though he knew he was innocent of any wrongdoing.

He said this to them in Job 12:2: No doubt you are the people, and wisdom will die with you.”

After thinking about Job’s use of sarcasm, I wrote down some of the Bible’s funnier lines.

Proverbs 27:14— I can relate to this one.
“If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.”

2 Kings 9:20—King David hears this about one of his chariot drivers.
“The lookout reported, “He has reached them, but he isn’t coming back either. The driving is like that of Jehu son of Nimshi–he drives like a madman.”

2 Kings 2:23—We can assume the prophet Elisha didn’t have a full head of hair.
He went up from there to Bethel, and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!”

Numbers 22:28-30—Here’s the story about a talking donkey and the man who talked back to him!
“Then the Lord opened the mouth of the donkey, and she said to Balaam, “What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times?” And Balaam said to the donkey, “Because you have made a fool of me. I wish I had a sword in my hand, for then I would kill you.” And the donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your donkey, on which you have ridden all your life long to this day? Is it my habit to treat you this way?” And he said, “No.”

And one last one from Proverbs.

Proverbs 21:9—No comment necessary.
“It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.”

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